“Hey, how are you doing?"
I am unsure if the actual words were "Hi, how are you?" or "Hey, how's it going?” As I was wandering around the merchandising booth by the side of the stage, a guy suddenly spoke to me. With my brain in full gear, I managed to reply in English, "I'm so excited!” Then, he smiled back at me and said, "Of course, I'm so excited too!"
Even though 3 months had already passed since my arrival, it was no wonder why even such a simple exchange of conversation was barely possible. On December 16, 2017, I was in Toronto, a Canadian city far from Japan.
At the age of 33, this was my first time studying abroad. Or rather, except for a three-day stay in Australia as a high school excursion, this was the first time I came abroad. Of course, I hadn't studied English since the university entrance exam. I had never seriously tried to speak English until this age.
Soon after arriving in Toronto, the language school started. After taking classes from morning to evening, I began to participate in English conversation cafes held by Christian volunteers at several churches and language exchanges held at food courts. However, as I was already over the age limit for a working holiday, my exposure to English in Toronto was limited.
6 months under a student visa. An extension was possible depending on the conditions, but in any case, I had to spend my limited time as effectively as possible. So, around 3 weeks into my stay, I set the following rule for myself.
At least once a week, definitely go out to live music venues or nightclubs
It was a simple strategy to get in touch with the local culture and language through my hobby of music. However, this rule ended up bringing me to meet and interact with DJs and artists in Toronto and made my total 8 months of life in Canada an unforgettable experience.
This is how I began to go out alone to the unfamiliar city of Toronto, night after night. My first live music experience was at the end of September: Toronto-based garage rock trio METZ's 3rd album release concert. Then, I successfully enjoyed local music experiences such as concerts by New Zealand synth-pop band Yumi Zouma in October, representative post-rock band Mogwai in early December, and daily parties at local clubs.
However, perhaps due to Canada's extremely cold and harsh winter, very few international bands came to Toronto from mid-December to February. In fact, despite checking Songkick's website daily, I didn't see the band in concert for a while until their joint concert with Snail Mail and Ought in March of the following year.
Having said that, I was, fortunately, able to make friends with several techno and house DJs there at that time, so I had no difficulties attending at least 1 musical event per week. I still keep in touch with them occasionally by text message. Thanks to them, I was actually able to keep this rule until returning to Japan, which is the proudest achievement of my study abroad.
But I digress, in the face of Canadian winter which many foreign artists seem to avoid, a band came to Toronto, where the temperature was 22 degrees below zero, the lowest temperature recorded in 57 years. UNSANE, a bloody noise-rock trio from New York City.
The band was formed in 1988 mainly by guitarist/vocalist Chris Spencer. Since then, they released records on various unique labels such as Matador, Amphetamine Reptile, Relapse, Ipecac, Alternative Tentacles, Southern Lord, and the now-defunct ZK records here in Japan. The veterans of hardcore known for their blood-splattered heavy metal noise and bloody jacket photos that foreshadow gruesome tragedies in all of their albums. Incidentally, the band was initially introduced in Japan as a band run by the brother of Jon Spencer Blues Explosion, but it is a well-known story that this was a completely false rumor.
Although they have toured Japan several times, this was the first time I actually saw their show. I had never expected to see a band, which I had listened to since I was a student, in a country I had no relations with, Canada......
The start time of live concerts in Toronto is later than in Japan, partly because public buses run even late at night until the morning. When I entered the venue after paying at the door at 8 p.m., the opening time, bloodthirsty noise-rock maniacs were relaxing over drinks at the bar space. The name of the venue is Hard Luck Bar. A perfect name for a brutal noise-rock show.
In a strange place in a strange land, where the language is not well spoken. I always felt a strange sense of elation at venues in Toronto that I could never experience in Japan. As I wandered around enjoying such tension and excitement as a stranger in a foreign country, the exchange described at the beginning of this article occurred. It was a very short conversation, but it was a precious opportunity for me to experience the real English that I could only have had by going out.
In the meantime, 9:00 p.m. arrived, and the show was finally about to begin.
The first to appear on stage was a local band called Ancress. Since this was the opening act, many people were still enjoying drinks at the bar space, so the vocalist got off the stage and shouted on the floor to the band playing metal-core riffs with blast beats. By the way, the bass player was the guy I talked with earlier! I didn't realize he was a performer....... He might have been talking to me with similar nervousness and excitement as I was.
Next up was Child Bite, a Detroit band whose wild punk sound with a hint of earthy blues had a huge impact, coupled with the long-haired, bearded, and visibly rugged appearance of the members. Especially, the rowdy performance of the vocalist had a dubious charm similar to that of David Yow of Jesus Lizard.
The next band BIG|BRAVE is a bassless trio from Montreal, located to the east of Toronto, and a label mate with UNSANE at the time. Their song structure consists of minimally repeated extremely loud and heavy drone noise reminiscent of SUN O))) and EARTH, also from Southern Lord, sounding no wonder that they are now signed to Chicago's experimental post-rock label Thrill Jockey. These kinds of drone bands might tend to sound the same in all songs, to be honest, but I was also impressed by the female vocalist's unconstrained voice, which sang the incantatory melodies in a dainty way.
The floor was crowded with many people before I realized it. While everyone was waiting for the main act to appear, finally UNSANE showed up. Once the performance began, the merciless sound just like their tragic artwork exploded! Noise like a death cry and a groove that crawled on the ground roared as if it were cutting and crushing the audience with a heavy, sharp blade. This was the tour following their 8th album "Sterilize," but the setlist also included well-known songs from the past, such as "Scrape," famous for its music video featuring skateboarding failures, and it was an hour-long performance that satisfied the expectations of their long-time fans.
The performance was intense as expected, but also surprisingly relaxed, as if the band was simply enjoying playing. Is this the kind of leeway that veterans can afford to have? Come to think of it, UNSANE seems not the type of band that explodes their energy emotionally, but rather a band that plays murderous roars in a cool way with an impish smile on their face. The reason why we can find some humor in their nasty artwork is because of their unique style, which seems to enjoy such malice.
The audience, on the other hand, was also relaxed and very excited without moshing or diving. It was like a party of ladies and gentlemen enjoying a brutal noise show. Such was the lovely Saturday night.
After the show, the audience lined up in front of the stage, asking for autographs with posters they had purchased from the merchandise booth. The band members politely responded to those fans one by one, unlike the way they had looked previously in the show. I also bought a T-shirt with the band's name in a color like blood. As I headed toward the exit behind the fans in line, holding up the T-shirt toward the stage, Chris noticed and gave me a silent nod and a thumbs up.
This was the last show I experienced in 2017. I don't remember anything after I left the venue. It was, after all, five years ago. I guessed I drank my favorite local beer, Waterloo, or Canadian whiskey, Gibson's 12-year, back at my Filipino host family's homestay, where I would later get into a bit of financial trouble. My host mother, who was unusually stingy with money, had been marking me before because I went out late at night, as I did on this day, or drank with the young residents of the same house.
Including those troubles, Toronto gave me a lot of memories. I had never imagined that I would have such a good time in my life, which was completely boring. In the first place, studying abroad was just an unthinkable idea. I wanted to do something about my dull life, which seemed to have no chance of becoming fun. I wanted to do something about my dull life, which seemed to have no chance of becoming fun. I went to Toronto with such a feeling of escaping from reality, but when I look back on it now, it really doesn't seem like reality and it became a special time as if I was in a dream.
Now, 5 years have passed. The world has been totally changed by a pandemic of an unknown virus. Nightclubs and live music venues around the world were closed and musicians were forced to cancel their concerts. Travel abroad was also restricted, and the agent I used to study abroad at the time seems to have closed its business.
I don't know if these circumstances affected them or not, but UNSANE also ended their 30 years of activity after the last concert in 2018. Also for myself, I am completely back to my dull days. On the contrary, I feel more and more stagnant as I get older, and the vanity of life is only growing.
In the midst of all this, I suddenly received a message on my Instagram account. It was from an Italian guy who saw the picture of the T-shirt I bought that day that I posted after returning to Japan, and he said he is editing a fanzine of UNSANE. He said he wanted me to share information and memories of their live shows at that time. And this September, their first album, with a shocking cover photo of a decapitated corpse lying on the railroad tracks, was remastered and reissued after 31 years.
The fanzine created by a man named Stefano, who contacted me out of the blue, will also be back after a 10-year absence. Coincidentally this year, a compilation album by ZK records, which was the Japanese distributor of UNSANE, was also reissued for the first time after 30 years, and its organizer called Itaroh also held a gig for his 60th birthday anniversary. In addition, my Korean friend who I used to drink with at my homestay will be visiting Tokyo at the end of the year.
It is the perfect time to look back on those days. As for myself, I have decided to quit the company I worked for after returning to Japan. There is no certainty that one day I will be able to enjoy my time like the days in Toronto again, but I need to bleed and struggle to make that happen. It sounds nice to say, but I'm actually quitting just because the company is discontinuing remote work from the new year and I don't want to go to the office every day for a boring job……
I haven't decided what I'm going to do after that. However, since I can be jobless and have more time, I would like to write again little by little about my memories and troubles in Toronto at that time, which I have not written about fully yet.
References：
https://www.facebook.com/HardLuckBar/
